Find the wonderful in today! We all have the same 24 hours in a day, it is what YOU Do With YOURS that matters!

Find the wonderful in today!

 We all have the same 24 hours in a day, it is what YOU Do With YOURS that matters!

I hope that you all find the wonderful today and every day after that. It is possible that we won't get another one (another day). 

Today we celebrate our precious memories of our Yesterdays. 

Holding enough faith in a positive tomorrow is also key to fulfilling your goals for a rewarding future.

One of the most important things to remember is: 

We all have the same 24 hours in a day;

 

It is what YOU Do With YOURS that counts!

*We could have a pity party for ourselves every day... Or we can choose to take charge of our lives. I know there are people with more serious disorders that these simple "mind over matter" tricks may not work. 

If you are suffering please don't do so silently. Some people have studied for years to help us through our dark times. I also know that I have had conversations with friends, that have helped me through some dark moments.

It can get extremely exhausting to be down and sad. And even anger can make your body sick. It is an emotion that can literally hurt us; if you have been worried or stressed out before, you know what I mean. You know the excessive toll it takes on our bodies. Which puts us at risk for more health problems.

as if that weren't enough, I had to be blessed/cursed with being a sensitive empath.

Every choice we make in our daily lives will also affect the rest of our lives!  

If you have bad days where it feels nearly impossible to not cry (be anxious, be moody, or just be angry), then you know how hard it can be to shake that bad mood/emotion and put on a "Don't Worry, Be Giddy"; face. 

Believe me, I also have had my share of pity parties, and that is ok! Picking myself back up; was of the utmost importance though! If I didn't pull myself out of it, who would? 

Remember what used to bring joy to your life. Bring that back around. Read a book about something you are interested in knowing. Change up your "stuck" routine. Just know, that like the weather that is constantly changing; so are our emotions.

(*)I know that what works for me, may not work for everyone. If you try something new and it works for you; then how awesome is that? Just keep chipping away at a small goal. Once you find something that brings you joy, keep doing it. Smile and say "I can do this". The power of positive thinking is scientifically proven to be true!

No matter what you have been through in your lifetime, I believe it has been for a reason. Just keep going, and going... 
Like the energizer bunny!🐇

We should look to the future, learn from the past, and live with the best intentions for the future.

Peace and Love

Let us find the wonderful in today, shall we?

When you are feeling alone and dwelling on the past, remember a few things:

 We shouldn't dwell on the fact we are alone. If we could do less dwelling and more dreaming it would make a world of a difference. Yes, I said more dreaming, what I mean by that is to take the time to daydream about what makes you happy. Be there in what makes you happy, be present (the here and now), you ABSOLUTELY CANNOT CHANGE THE PAST! 

However, it has been proven that you can create your own joy! Find what makes you happy, by weeding out what makes you unhappy! 

So, why not make it the best day you possibly can; without getting into trouble! 😉 

Read that again; Learn from everything that happens in your life. I have learned some of my best lessons from the darkest times in my life.

💗💗💜💗💗

If you enjoyed the reading here, then you might like:

https://facebook.com/StopSuicideOneStigmaAtATime

Come with me on my artistry journey.

My Facebook page is

https://facebook.com/Dars.Artistry 

Check out my artwork and ask me about a one one-on-one lesson or a paint party! I will also be hosting a few kid's crafts parties! Schedule your paint party now. I have minimal spaces for this summer, and they are filling up fast!

Get a $10 discount on your party! E-mail me @ darlenejarrard@gmail.com to schedule today!
 

It’s NOT your fault. You cannot control others; and that’s ok.

Whatever you do in life, live it free of guilt. It’s not your fault; what others do and don’t do usually doesn’t really involve you. Meaning that when others do things, they probably are so overwhelmed with stress that they (we) are mainly focused on our own emotions.

Once I stopped overthinking what others think of me, it was such a heavy weight lifted! It takes practice and patience, but anything you want to change- you can!

https://Facebook.com/StopSuicideOneStigmaAtATime

I wonder often; if there is anyone left... #HumanHumor

Some families stay large and grow rapidly; while other families experience many losses, sooner as opposed to later. 
This generation of our family has experienced many of those over the past century. My heart aches, not only for my very up-close-and-personal loss of my eldest Son but also for the numerous other family members. 
You know it is in the future that we must care for and then bury our parents, but you never want to experience losing your children, no matter how old they are. 
You don't feel much like laughing after these events. That is where faith comes in and you must use it. So, my hope is that people will try not to be so mean to others because you just never know when your time is up; you don't want to have any regrets. 

So, my advice (take it or leave it) is to Laugh as hard as you Love; And Live like it is your Last Day! Stay true to yourself and others, and leave a little wiggle room for mistakes, but fix them fast. 

Stop Suicide One Stigma At A Time - on Facebook

Peace and Love

The Essentials for Mental Health, Start with Faith and Patience!

The Essentials for Mental Health Start with Faith and Patience!

We (as parents) must instill religion and faith early on, as part of acquiring and retaining the healthy and happy minds of our children! 

We as parents take them for preventive shots, and we take our loved ones to the Emergency room for broken bones, but sometimes we neglect their mental health. We also sometimes neglect our own mental health. 

A broken mind needs medical care as well. 

Please; PLEASE PAY ATTENTION...

And DO everything you can possibly do to NOT lose your child/young adult, friend, loved one, or even a foe; to themselves (the taking of their own life)!  [Try to]Get them into counseling before they are teenagers; telling you that they refuse to talk to a "paid set of ears"; as my Tavin put it. Or if you are feeling down; then please talk to someone before you break your loved one's heart to pieces.

Depression is an excruciating, debilitating, and completely real mental condition!

You have to notice the signs and be willing to take the actions needed to get help;
for yourself and/or the person in turmoil! 
Even if they tell you that they are "fine", or "I can handle it myself"; or if the younger children are telling you that they don't feel good and don't know why (no specific pain area). It can actually be a symptom of a mental health issue. 

Our younger children don't really understand their emotions enough sometimes to decipher and inform you exactly what is giving them this unfamiliar yet sad feeling. 

It should also be mentioned that it can also be one of us adults that are feeling confused about the emotions we are feeling. You must be willing to see their point of view. Anger will only worsen the situation.

I feel the wrath of my guilt every day. Wishing I had been able to help my eldest son more. Although he wouldn't seek counseling or medicines, he took some of my advice and showed me he tried. He was so very miserable and determined; obviously now, after the fact. 

 If I can save someone from this kind of pain by sharing mine; then I have achieved something good from "a mother's worst nightmare"! 

Stop Suicide One Stigma At A Time 

One of my Facebook pages, and feel free to join our community.

If you are the one feeling sad and can't seem to get a grip on it; then do whatever it takes to get the help you, and/or your loved ones just might find a need for. Sometimes just telling someone else what is so awful; we feel a little less weight from our issues.

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Bay-Arenac Behavioral Health Authority 

*EMERGENCY SERVICES: 
911 

NEW *988

For Non-Emergent Services 
Please Call 1-989-846-4573 

If you need an immediate 

voice of reason you can 

call:

988 or 911

God Bless you all, From a Grieving Mother; With tender Peace and Compassion!

1-800-273-TALK (8255) Or 988

Stop Suicide One Stigma At A Time is just one of my Facebook pages.

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Hello Beautiful Humans!

It has been a bit of a minute since my last post. I am not quite sure what has compelled me to write to my fellow humans tonight, but here I am at 2ish am! 

It hasn't escaped me that I carry a burden or many. Many of my days are just fine and somewhat productive. However, other days are complete torture to the brain and all of the emotions that flood in on those "not-so-good", days. I realize we all have some sort of dilemma in our daily lives, so I do not consider myself exempt from that. 

I would like others to know that sometimes we are the only person we can count on. The only one that knows what we need. It isn't necessarily because there is always a lack of concern from our loved ones. 

I feel that we have to help ourselves more than it sometimes feels comfortable. 

We shouldn't get mad or resent anyone or feel hurt by their lack of understanding. We all go about our daily lives in hopes of being happy and having a sense of pride about how we spend the same 24 hours everyone has. Even when we struggle to find our purpose, we must consider we can be our own best friends or our own worst enemy. 

We create it all! 

Not our parents, siblings, family, or friends. We are all human, and we all have faults and failures. But the most mature thing we can do is accept our own responsibilities, don't blame others for our shortcomings.

I share my stigmas, fears, and dilemmas with others to encourage others to find a better place to live in their minds as well. The place in my brain that I was occupying often, was literally killing me softly!

It reminds me that there are others out there that have these struggles within their own minds. I am hoping to reach that one person (hopefully many more), that may need to hear that they are not a failure and that they are essential to other humans! Even if you get to a place that feels lonely and no one cares... just know many people smile because of YOU!  

Sometimes we need to hear this. It doesn't always resonate with us the first or even the second time. It helps to learn by repetition. Practice makes perfect, or at least practice makes us better. Practice peace. practice self-praise. And my all-time favorite:

Practice The Pause. 

My Facebook Page

Click the Sir T photo above to see my page dedicated to him personally.

Hello Humans

Hello Humans! 

I haven't been feeling myself lately. The reason I share this today is that you only ever really hear from me when I am feeling positive, motivated, and/or in a good mood. When I am feeling down on myself, or just having a "bad day", I generally stay away from people. You are people, my people, you are the people that I reach out to or hide from. Depending on how I am feeling that day or days that run concurrently to other bad days, determines if I write or just keep in touch with others so that they may have someone "out in the world" that cares. This is actually therapy for me, writing about my story and reading about others' stories. 

I have been an author since I was 9, and writing poetry was my escape. By putting the words on paper, it somehow makes me feel like I have released some stress. It had kept my mind busy enough to get through the situation I was dealing with at such a young age. So, also at a young age, I realized I wanted to become an author. However, I didn't publish anything publicly until 2003. Which was a poem that is published in a coffee table book entitled, "Musings Of The Soul". I am very proud of that, I did give up any monetary allowances, just to get my work out there and to see if others wanted more.

I sometimes doubt myself and my ability to conquer my dream of becoming a published author. I have been given enough praise from my followers to keep going. Even with the ups and downs of working on my mental health, I still somehow keep chugging along. AKA-A work in progress.

I turned off comments on most of my blog posts because I can't handle the negativity that always seems to make its way to the most positive of things. So, if you are wondering, that is why. The downfall to that is the guidance of knowing what people want to read from me and the mediocre stuff that you all would rather I didn't write.

I keep up better with my Facebook page: Stop Suicide One Stigma At A Time

Like & Follow Only if you really do find some good in it. Thank you in advance. 

Peace & Positive Vibes

My Advocacy page is: FaceBook SSOSAAT

FaceBook SSOSAAT 

YouTube

Thank you for staying. Today might not be so fun... But let's stick around to see what tomorrow brings. 

Sometimes They Are Right In Front Of Us!

Good Findings To You All.

Sometimes we search for things; in life. We search for some sort of fulfillment. We sometimes feel like we are reaching and searching for something that we are missing. Or we think we are missing something tangible. For many months, off and on, I remember searching. I wished I had this and thought I needed something else. 

Sometimes They Are Right In Front Of Us! 

But, truly it was there, right there in front of me the whole time. I just didn't know how to use it. We are just wasting energy worrying about the "what if's" and the "but if only"... Forget all that!  

You cannot change the past! 

You can only move forward. There are no such things as time machines, so, we have to forgive ourselves. Yes, I said it, forgive ourselves and move past the "what if's and the "should haves" "could haves". You need to erase them from your vocabulary. They will weigh you down and beat you down until you feel like you can no longer get up.

My own self conscious was holding me back. I cannot blame others for where I am or even where I am not, in my life. I could blame it on many people and nothing will change. Or I can admit that I am where I am today, because of the decisions and choices that I have made. The best things in life are free; you just have to be willing to see them.

"WE CREATE IT ALL".

I disagreed with this statement when I first read it in a college success class. It was the very first chapter. And it was the best class I have ever taken. I have had to practice what I preach and made a few upsets along the way. I wasn't easily convinced that my problems weren't to blame on say my parents, my ex-boyfriends, my friends (at the time); I didn't really get what that meant until I finally believed it; that WE create it ALL. All of our actions create a reaction, that reaction creates the next course of events, and so on.

It wasn't my parent's fault that I didn't go to college right after high school, that was totally my choice. In fact, they both encouraged me to do the exact opposite of what I did do.

My point is that we must accept the blame for what goes both wrong and right in our lives because our good choices affect us as much, if not more than our bad choices in life. Just something to gnaw on when you feel like blaming or being mad at someone for something going wrong in your life. If we just accept it, then make the necessary adjustments to fix things. But, we need a balance as to not bring on guilt for making said poor choices. There isn't anything you can do to change history; however, you can learn from it and choose to make better decisions in the future. 

Be careful not to say things that you don't want to be set in stone. Words can tear through a persons soul.

Thank You for reading until the end.

Our Loss

What Are The Signs Of A Suicidal Person?

From both a personal and not so personal experience; I have found these are some of the signs of someone contemplating suicide; this may include or exclude- any of these or maybe none of these...

What Are Some Of The Warning Signs For Suicide?

• Losing interest in their once favorite things to do.
• If a person suddenly starts calling into work; "sick", repeatedly.

• Obvious Lack of making any plans for future.

• A normally outgoing personality; suddenly becomes withdrawn and isolating themselves.

• Turning to a crutch, such as alcohol- or hard drugs.

• Not being able to pull one's self out of "FUNK".

• Talking about wanting; to die or to kill oneself.

• Looking for a way to kill oneself, such as searching online or buying a gun.

• Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live.

• Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain.

• Talking about being a burden to others.

• Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs.

• Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly.

• Sleeping too little or too much.

• Withdrawing or feeling isolated.

• Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge.

• Displaying extreme mood swings.

The following paragraph of information is a word for word copy and paste from URL: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/gethelp.aspx

The following signs may mean someone is at risk for suicide. 

***The risk of suicide is greater if a behavior is new or has increased and if it seems related to a painful event, loss, or change. 

If you or someone you know exhibits any of these signs, 

seek help as soon as possible by calling the Lifeline at:

 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Helpful Hints and Links:

Find a Therapist or Support Group

Speaking to a therapist or attending a support group can help you work through your grief and improve your overall mental health. The following resources can help you find a psychologist, psychiatrist or support group near you.

Create a Safety Plan

Having a plan in place that can help guide you through difficult moments can make a difference and keep you safe.

Watch Stories of Hope and Recovery

Told through the voices of these individuals, their families, and the professionals in their support network, each inspiring story recounts one person's journey from a suicide attempt to the life of hope and recovery he/she is leading today.

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

End copy and paste from http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/gethelp.aspx 

Thank you for the honor of spreading awareness and hopefully prevention of suicide from the use of your information.

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September is Suicide Awareness Month! 
Each And Every Moment; SHOULD BE!

In my opinion; each and every month, every day, of each and every hour; should be the time to create awareness for the lonely and depressed. 

And if you don't know what to do for them: 

Call:
1-800-273-TALK (8255)

They are there especially for this!
You can even call and get advice that is relevant specifically to your situation. 

Unless you have lost a loved one to suicide, I don't believe you will ever fully understand the loss; a complete void in your life that will always be there. 
I wouldn't want anyone to be in these [my] shoes...
 This is why I vent publicly, I don't want anyone to ever have to go through this mind-boggling type of loss. We as mothers should never have to go through this type of pain. 

Like all of us who love Tavin so very much and miss him deeply and daily! I also lost my Dear Mother to suicide. It has been two of the most gut-wrenching pain from guilt and regrets, I have ever had to face.

My eldest son Tavin (who took his own life on Sept.12th, 2010) About 3 months before that, asked me to look on the calendar and see what day Sept 12th fell on... When I told him it would be a Sunday and that it was also Grandparent's day; he simply replied: "oh ok, better yet; thank you." 
So I asked him, "why are you asking, Son?" He just replied, "Oh, no reason really. I was just wondering." Very calm and with great confidence in his voice. Did I mention he was doing the dishes for me (w/o asking him to)? Once he had finished them up, he gave me a great big hug and kiss, and told me he loved me very much. And he was going to his room to record (work on recording and mixing his music); little did I know; he was recording his suicide songs (letters).

There were other things said by him that I feel foolish now that those words, didn't register more Red Flags at the time.

And I'm not just bragging about his intelligence that he was blessed with (maybe I helped too) with a very high IQ and was born with more talent than anyone in our immediate family. He mentioned feeling uncomfortable because he felt like he was surrounded by simpletons and just couldn't get a grip on the real struggle of what we call "Mental Illness" or the Lack of Mental Wellness.

Here is a picture of one of my greatest achievements as well as, one of my greatest losses... 
My eldest Son; Tavin W. M. Jarrard also know as numerous other aliases, but most famously known for Toby and/or Sir T! 
There will be rumors and whispers, even this blog will bring about negativity and haters. 
I am hoping that with the negative conversations, there will also be some positive sparks of conversation on the subject of suicide. And families will open up and talk about what is bothering them; before they nearly explode or the possibility of an implosion (suicide).

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

I lost more than just my eldest son; I lost a part of me that was a confident mother, I lost a part of my heart and soul which has affected everything I now say and do. Nearly every day, I seem to find yet another way to self destruct.  
I am NOT rambling on for sympathy; but rather to possibly spare another Mother the heartbreak that comes from losing a child/young adult.

It doesn't help any one's life to take out an important equation of the family pie. Killing yourself is not an answer; it is just now someone else's (many others) problems and pain. Do you really want to put your Mother, Father, Brothers  Sisters, and/or Friends through that type of pain? God could have it planned to take you tomorrow; I believe there is more dignity in dying by God's hand than by my own. I am very grateful that my attempts were unsuccessful.

My son struggled for years... you say why didn't I help him; I did, it was a constant worry and thought. He was so determined to be successful, he would hide many things from many people, to be sure he was not going to be stopped.




You need to fight the disease of depression...
not the person dealing with it.

If you know someone that talks about suicide (or is taking actions of hurting themselves),  then you must tell someone that loves them as well. 
Sometimes I believe those of us who do suffer from mental illness such as depression; get the backlash of the stigmas! Unless you have felt the same way a person that has depression or suffers from some other mental disorders; you will have your opinions, but, are you part of the solution or are you part of the problem?
When you talk to someone that has such a frame of mind that just doesn't seem right, or they have straight up told you they were thinking of or planning their own demise, and you don't know how to help them: 
EDUCATE Yourself; 
Call the Hotline for them!

If you don't tell someone else, you stand a chance of losing that person. Maybe you don't believe them or they have asked you not to say anything, this should form an urgency for deeper probing into the subject.
It is serious and chances are they probably aren't lying to you. My guess is if they are talking about it, they either want help (to be saved) or they wouldn't be talking about it so much. 




Fellow parents, watch for long sleeves in the summer (to cover the cutting), look out for sad writings and/or eerie drawings; listen to the music that may or not be your genre. Get to know your child inside and out! If you are unsure or they won't talk to you about anything other then school, find someone they will relate with! 
You might end up being an unlikely hero to them. However, be careful not to constantly interrupt them with "your own opinion" on the subject; they will never find you really "open". I know as loving parents, we mean well with our advice, and we may think they aren't listening; but don't be fooled they are. 
So, be careful what you have them hear!  
Even if you are close and have talked about the subject of suicide, you are still in need of staying on your toes. 
Don't ever get too confident that "My child would Never do that"!

I hope that everyone makes a difference in their friend's lives. Even if it is a phone call to check in on them. To let them know you are thinking about them, perhaps send them a quick card or even an e-mail
Just knowing there is someone out there thinking about you and they take the time to let you know gives some reassurance that someone does in fact care.

You may not be able to ever stop a troubled soul that is determined to kill themselves; however, if you at least try... you will not have as many regrets; that will surely haunt you forever. 

If it is more serious then you can handle (they are in serious turmoil); then it is time to call in the professionals.

 I hope Tavin's friends; as well as, all of you reading this, have learned from this loss and the events that have flipped mine and everyone who knew my Tavin, worlds upside down and all around.
Much Love and Peace to all you who cared about our AWESOME Tavin; and to those of you who have absolutely no idea who I am, I wish you well also. And I hope you never have to endure this type of painful grief. 

September 8th-14th is National Suicide Awareness   

In my opinion, I feel It should be National Suicide Prevention and Awareness Week Day; EVERY DAY! ...

Starting Now To Infinity... 

I would like to encourage everyone that if you think someone is in need of a friend to talk to, I would encourage you to take ACTION! 

Sometimes all that is required of you is to take the time to listen; as well as, understand them and what they are going through.

Just knowing someone cares enough to listen; can be just enough to get them through until they can seek counseling, and or see a professional. 

If I have to endure this pain and grief; maybe to be proof to Mother's and Father's out there, that there is life after love and loss. Maybe this is my purpose. I feel that I have read stories of survival and thought, "oh my God How?" And then it happened to me... 
My "How" had names; Coty and Sommer. They needed me now, more than ever. It wasn't overnight by any means, but with time I focused on them and their needs. Almost too much catering, however, I was lucky enough to nip it in the bud before they had a chance to make that behavior a habit.

There are numerous reputable sites full of awesome advice: On Signs Of A Suicidal Person:
 HelpGuide.org 
The National Institute Of Mental Health: 
nimh.nih.gov/
Suicide Awareness Voices of Education
save.org/

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

afsp.org/

May you be guided by light in your daily life.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Call 911

Call a suicide/prevention crisis hotline

(800-784-2433 or 800-273-8255)

◦ Assistance if you are deaf or hearing impaired? (800-799-4TTY)

◦ Para Obtener Asistencia en español, lame al (888-628-9454)

Veteran? Call 800-273-8255. Press “1” to reach the VA hotline

Go to a hospital emergency room!

God Bless, Peace and Passion in all that you do!